Friday, December 24, 2010
Friendship is fickle, get used to it.
Friends are fickle. I realised this a very long time ago at a very young age. A lot of people say they can judge you by the friends you keep and this is true. Which is probably why I dont have many good friends. And I'd like to keep it that way.
I don't gel to well with girls. I am not the ultimate best friend. It's just the way I am. I wont call you three times a day to gossip about someone or ask you what your plans are for the next week or find out what you're wearing or how your relationship is.
I've been there done that with friends before and I felt like they became to reliant on what my opinion was and couldn't make decisions for themselves without analyzing everything first. I also have quite a sharp tongue, some friends get offended other's appreciate my honesty.
I'm a very bad liar. And that's not a trait girls are bad at. They lie to eachother constantly. About everything, "no you look great in that", "that chick is so cool" but you secretly hate her or "your boyfriend is such a great guy, he's gorgeous too". All utter shite.
And I just can't do that. If I think your boy is a wanker and treats you like kak,, I'll say so, cos isn't that what friendship is really all about? Being honest, giving advice and being there for a person?
Maybe I was raised differently. I am fiercly loyal and will stand up for you whatever the issue. But I won't lie for you, I won't protect you from your mistakes or give you an excuse.
Recently a friend of mine had a rather upsetting chat with her best friend. Apparently her friend didn't like the person she was anymore and decided not to be friends anymore.And this upset my friend, since she hadn't changed in the least.
I had this issue a little while ago too. I think a friendship takes it's course and can only last so long in some respects.
When you're in highschool you relie on eachother constantly, it's pretty much the only way to get through the whole ordeal, is to have someone to back you up.
But in real life it doesn't work like that. You begin to become your own person, the person you were destined to be. Not the stereotype you were forced into at school.
And by then you come across different to eachother, you begin to see who that person really is and why they are that way.
For instance I was always destined to be an angry, cynical, disturbed adult. Unfortunately I haven't had the most enjoyable, easy-going childhood. I am naturally a fun person but thanks to all my family shite I am not as spontaneous and as trusting as I used to be. And that friend couldnt face the person I have become and I accept that, but I've moved on.
I think as girls we need to let go of that mindset of 'best friends for ever', 'through thick and thin'. It's not realistic. You can be your own person and if a friend makes you feel bad for being who you are then let them go.
That said, this is not to say that I dont have good friends or a best friend, I do. And I love them but the best part about our relationships is that we can be our own people and not have to make excuses for our choices and actions.
And whoever said you must surround yourself with only positive people can fuck off. Because if I've learnt anything in the last few years is that everyone has shit to deal with, everyone has a past and is screwed up in some way and deals with it in their own way.No one is fucking happy-clappy all the time. It's up to you to enrich and fufill your own life. Not them.
Friendship is when two people have the same mindset and outlook on life. Not because they like the same clothes or hate the same people. It's a marriage of minds. And mine's just not into your perfect little bubble.