Monday, May 16, 2011

Fat Days

Why do we have them and are we actually fatter on those days?

Today was a really bad fat day. My fail safe fat day outfit did not work ... at all. My amazing sucky-in black skinnies did not suck it in! My loose cream jersey was not loose enough and my boots did nothing to elongate my chub legs.

It was an epic fat day. Luckily I work in a small office. Before the day was even over I surrendered to uggs and track pants. I just couldnt take tricking my body into thinking it was slim anymore. It just felt like I was a giant sausage trying to escape it's casing. Gross.

But why do we wake up feeling monstrously porkers and do we actually look like we ate a doughnut shop in our sleep? I am going to ask every women this till I find an answer.

Fat days are inevitable. The only thing worse is when you think you look like a million bucks and then you walk past a mirror and think "Oh god am I actually in public right now? I look hideous."

Of course this is all very superficial but very real in the mind of a woman. If she is having a fat day, take her seriously but never actually confirm that she looks fat. The best cure is to call in sick, put on your comfiest pj's,  get in bed, eat a crunchie and watch reality TV.

Just being honest.

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