Monday, June 27, 2011

I am a walking germ. Well not so much walking, more like lying.

I have leprosy, and have had so for the last week. When I say leprosy (sp) I mean Flu.
Mean, gross, snotty, coughy, flu. I am the person no one wants to be around in my house. Even my mom who has come to take care of me doesn't stay in my room to long when she brings me her homemade chicken soup. My boyfriend only kisses me on the forehead. He has also taken to eating large spoonfuls of crushed garlic and even though I have one good nostril for breathing, I can still smell it. Do you know what it is like sleeping next to a man that honks of garlic? I suppose it's the same as sleeping next to a woman who blows her nose and coughs all night.

We are getting off track here.

Being sick is so not on my list of things to do right now. I am bedridden and I look hideous. My nose is lucky it is still firmly attached to my face considering the amount of blowing it has had to endure. Yesterday I was wondering about where exactly snot comes from and how it is produced, especially in the quantities I am expelling it from my nose. I am too afraid to google this.

I am not the world's loveliest sick person, I look as if I am decomposing somewhat. I turn an ashen yellow colour and my hair takes the opportunity to dread itself and I become bloated. Probably from all the soup I am being force fed.

Being sick is incredibly unattractive and one is expected to be bedridden for long periods of time. After two days in bed, every made for TV movie watched on DSTV and old Kardashian reruns on E!
I was sick (ya ya) of lying in bed decomposing and feeling ugly.

So I showered, attempted to apply coverup to my red and cracked nose area and found the warmest/most stylish when sick outfit possible and  asked my mum to take me to the Waterfront. One can not drive when sick. I lose train of thought while ill, a lot, also due to symptoms, one can not breathe, hear or react too quickly.

I didnt find much for myself, even though I tried on about 20 outfits. But I managed to source my mom a stunner pair of flares. She looks amazeballs in them. So proud. It was the first time I had walked any kind of distance in a while, I had jelly legs.

I am feeling better today but my cough is still quite bad, I had to get back to day job eventually.
Today sucks, I wish I was in bed playing online scrabble with tea and toast and my book. I can't wait to rack up some more sick days, it's like a mini holiday. Use them sick days, go stand in the chill with nothing but your bra on and smoke a pack of Camels. You'll be sweating and shivering and coughing all at the same time in no time!



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