Kind of like the time she convinced me to hire her as a personal trainer. And the time she convinced me to go to swimming classes with her before 8 am in the morning.
Not a good idea.
I think she might believe I am in need of some waist minimisation. She would be right. It's not like I am FAT. I'm just a bit soft around the edges, a little bit squishy ... okay chubby.
Anyway everytime we talk this woman is on some kind of exercise/diet craze. And she manages to rope me in. And I always agree to the insane idea and then later give up when close to death.
This time I am not allowed to eat any carbs. She has informed me that carbs include, bread, biscuits, rolls, rice, cereal, pasta and potatoes.
I asked her what I could eat. Turns out alot of lettuce, nuts, fruit, tuna, eggs and meat.
I told my mom I was on a diet so she offered me some soup .. with naan bread. So I said "Mom, I can't eat naan bread, I'm on a diet." Mom: "Why can't you eat naan bread?" Me:"I'm on a diet." Mom: "But it's naan bread."
Then after much back and forth of explaining said carb-less diet, mom relented and fed me soup. No less than five minutes later after consuming soup mom asks, "Do you want cream cheese on a cracker?" Me: "No mom, I can't I'm on a diet." Mom: "But it's just a cracker."
Clearly my mom is not understanding what 'diet' means.
I haven't eaten carbs for a week. Day two was exceptionally hard with my boss making copious amount of wholegrain toast, cement slabs of butter and bovril. I almost collapsed in exasperation.
This could be the longest time I have ever been on a diet.
I don't even weigh myself. When I was eighteen, just after school I was working my butt off at one of the local surf clothing stores, I lost serious amount of weight and it went to my head. Soon enough I wasn't eating at all. I looked like a mod. My mom went mental and force fed me pasta till I recovered. It was great being skinny but my body was never the same again.
I can be a bit obsessive, and weighed my selfworth on the results on a scale. I vowed never to go back to that. Therefore no scales. I know I'm losing weight when my jeans start falling down my hips and then I stop.
Already I am seriously considering going for a run. Something I also went a bit manic with two years ago. I ran everyday, twice a day for a while. Cue major weight loss.
I can't do anything moderately.
So in honour of me not eating any carbs for a week I am going to make the most mouthwatering pasta and sauce tonight and then start all over again on Tuesday.
Ag, what is life without a little bit of excess ... food, body fat etc!