Monday, August 29, 2011

Diet via Skype : /

Last week my dearest cousin Lara convinced me via Skype to not eat any carbs. For THREE WEEKS. 

Kind of like the time she convinced me to hire her as a personal trainer. And the time she convinced me to go to swimming classes with her before 8 am in the morning.

Not a good idea.

I think she might believe I am in need of some waist minimisation. She would be right. It's not like I am FAT. I'm just a bit soft around the edges, a little bit squishy ... okay chubby.

Anyway everytime we talk this woman is on some kind of exercise/diet craze. And she manages to rope me in. And I always agree to the insane idea and then later give up when close to death.

This time I am not allowed to eat any carbs. She has informed me that carbs include, bread, biscuits, rolls, rice, cereal, pasta and potatoes.

I asked her what I could eat. Turns out alot of lettuce, nuts, fruit, tuna, eggs and meat.

I told my mom I was on a diet so she offered me some soup .. with naan bread. So I said "Mom, I can't eat naan bread, I'm on a diet." Mom: "Why can't you eat naan bread?" Me:"I'm on a diet." Mom: "But it's naan bread."
Then after much back and forth of explaining said carb-less diet, mom relented and fed me soup. No less than five minutes later after consuming soup mom asks, "Do you want cream cheese on a cracker?" Me: "No mom, I can't I'm on a diet." Mom: "But it's just a cracker."

Clearly my mom is not understanding what 'diet' means.

I haven't eaten carbs for a week. Day two was exceptionally hard with my boss making copious amount of wholegrain toast, cement slabs of butter and bovril. I almost collapsed in exasperation.
This could be the longest time I have ever been on a diet. 

I don't even weigh myself. When I was eighteen, just after school I was working my butt off at one of the local surf clothing stores, I lost serious amount of weight and it went to my head. Soon enough I wasn't eating at all. I looked like a mod. My mom went mental and force fed me pasta till I recovered. It was great being skinny but my body was never the same again.
I can be a bit obsessive, and weighed my selfworth on the results on a scale. I vowed never to go back to that. Therefore no scales. I know I'm losing weight when my jeans start falling down my hips and then I stop.
It's sad.

Already I am seriously considering going for a run. Something I also went a bit manic with two years ago. I ran everyday, twice a day for a while. Cue major weight loss.
I can't do anything moderately.
So in honour of me not eating any carbs for a week I am going to make the most mouthwatering pasta and sauce tonight and then start all over again on Tuesday.

Ag, what is life without a little bit of excess ... food, body fat etc!


  1. Whenever I lose weight, I decide cool let me eat whatever I want now hahaha then I'm like ok need to cool it and thus the cycle continues...I need some discipline or summin. Give me yours.

  2. haha...classic stuff trying to stick to eat...but yesterday i ate a pizza! it was one of those situations when you've had a hectic night out...and fatty food is the only cure! lol...and so the no carbs diet starts again today!! x la


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