It's very quiet in my household this morning, as you know I am living with my parental (father) and my cool uncle Shane, my brother and my boyfriend. All in the same house. And it's Women's Day. And none of them are here and none of them made me coffee and brought it to me in bed.
This is the plight of a woman living in a male dominated home. They know exactly what you're good for. Cooking, cleaning and comfort. My brother wished me on Facebook. However very kind, that is the extent of the thanks I get.
Please don't take this post as a rant of any kind. It's supposed to make you laugh at some point. Growing up in a house full of testosterone is at times agony. Either you completely forget you have a vagina or you are constantly reminded that you have one.
For instance the first time I got my period I had to tell me dad. He was quite astounded. An eleven year old was not his idea of a fruitful woman. I was stuck in the bathroom till he figured out what plan of action he was going to go with. While waiting the phone rang and he answered it, telling a boy from school whom I had a massive crush on that I was unable to come to the phone because I was menstruating. I died.
When I finally began to grow myself some boobs I was laughed at for my 'bee stings' and instructed to get a bra.
And when it came time for me to take the pill, he lost the plot. Probably envisaging me becoming some kind of tart, running around highschool offering sexual favours to pubescent boys. He considered other alternatives to the pill, such as; locking me in a tower, grounding me for life, and threatening every boy that ventured within 100m of the house with his gun.
This made my dating life disasterous.
On introducing Ian to my dad for the first time, the poor guy shook in his converse. Later on, when Ian started staying over, my father gave him the talk. That threw me into a fit of embarassed crying. He threatened Ian with his life if he ever got me pregnant. Ian is still to this day terrified of thought of me and a belly.
When you are constantly surrounded by men you grow accustomed to their company and not the company of women. Which is why I think I find it so much easier to converse with men and befriend them. Obviously not what my dad was going for here.
I don't have many girlfriends because of this. I find girls today, to be so vapid. They accomplish so little and put too much of their self worth into their looks and materialism. It's so sad especially when you think of the incredible women in this country who have shaped our future, who have fought for our rights. Only for this generation to be more concerned with Heat Magazine and trends (look who's talking here).
I have many women who are my role models but they are strong women. Women with balls so to speak; Marianne Thamm, Albertina Sisulu, Miriam Makeba, Helen Joseph to name a few South Africans.
However there are many positive lessons learnt from being surrounded by men. You learn to be emotionally strong, you stand up for your opinions and beliefs, you learn that anything a man can do, you can do too, if not better. You grow a thick skin when it comes to criticism and you find confidence in achievements through hard work.
This is not to say my mother was not a role model to me. She is my greatest influence in life because of her strength.
Today I am moving again, out of the family home. My dad emailed to say he doesn't want me to leave . He doesn't often show his soft side to me. I know that he appreciates me and all that I do for him and this family. I think in his own way he is proud of me. He taught me to be courageous in my actions.
So on this women's day I am taking another step toward independence.
What are you doing on this women's day for yourself?