You can't force me to do anything. I become donkey like. It's a terrible trait.
So when I get told I should exercise or eat right or tidy my room or wear looser jeans, I refuse and do the complete opposite.
For the record I happen to be a very neat person. Bordering on OCD crazy but I don't force it on others. Secondly I can't help it if skinnies are in fashion and my thighs are like pork sausages. I will wear skinnies even if i am certaintly not skinners. And in regards to my lack of exercise and eating habits I can wholeheartedly blame my parents.
However I am too old for that and now I have to tackle my large ass and crappy lungs all by myself. For a number of years I have let things slide. For instance so what if I have a tummy roll, I will just buy looser tops. Who cares if my arms have started to resemble polony, I will wear a structured blazer till the end of my days to mask this.
It's gotten to the point where I can no longer hide my expansion from myself, other people and definitely not my boyfriend.
I must say I am quite dissapointed with my lack of self care. I used to be the queen of beauty creams. Infact all beauty regimens. I was fanatical. I swear I started using anti wrinkle cream when I was sixteen.
It took me about an hour to get ready every morning. Now I'm lucky if I have the energy to pluck my eyebrows or slick some mascara on. It's out of hand. One has to have some kind of pride in one's appearance.
This morning I made a concerted effort. Shower, wash hair, slap on anti wrinkle cream, cover body in Nivea Q20 cream, comb hair and put in a top knot. Thats about all I could manage and then I had to have more coffee.
It is 11:00 am and I'm at work and I look like a sick person due to lack of mascara. Mascara and make you look wide awake.
While Hamilton was here she went on an exercise mission. She begged me daily to join her. However Hamilton did not have a job and had all day to flounce around Cape Town looking all dewy and gorgeous. I however feel like a bloody zombie. It actually pissed me off that she was getting all exercisy and toned. I was envious. But not envious enought to make a move off the couch after a long day at work.
See donkey like.
But now Hamilton has left and I feel like doing that. So I will.
Last night Ian and I went for a lovely walk on the beach, pity that by the time we got there it was already getting dark. This evening I am going to walk from Camps Bay to Bantry Bay and back. By myself. If Ian exercises too much he will cease to exist.
Unfortunately I just am a stubborn, chubby, too toit jean pant wearing criminal.
Is that so bad?