Wednesday, October 19, 2011

To my dreams coming true :)

Remember how I said I won’t be able to go on my dream trip to Italy due to me quitting my job, which is only eight days to go and being potentially broke forevs.

Well yesterday I received a mail in the post. Like a real letter. Not a bloody email. It was from an investment firm where my dear departed gran deposited a tidy sum of money for me to inherit when I turned the ripe young age of 21. That was two years ago and apart from taking a teeny bit out to buy some furniture for my flat which includes my cute little silver fridge and my sixties toaster, I haven’t touched it.

I don’t often think about the money sitting there as it’s been beaten into me that when you have some seriyaas cash saved you keep it for a rainy day. Like when your car fucks out on you and you’re rolling down a hill with no brakes and no insurance or if by god you fall preggers (touch wood) it’s there for life’s slap in the face.

However life has klapped me around enough in the last few years so I have decided to use some of it to travel. The BF has been begging me for years to take a trip to Canary Islands together. I have never been able to save for it. Lame. But now I think we’ll do a bit of a romantic trip around Spain. How awesome does that sound?

So the plan is back in action!

The requirements to get a VISA for Italy are rough.

  • you can’t apply more than 3 months in advance for the visa (That’s about when I start working on what I need to pack.)
  • you need a detailed daily itinerary (drinking vino, checking out hot Italian boys, shopping, laying in the sun, eating amazing food, eating more amazing food, learning Italian swear words.)
  • you need decent travel insurance (Daaaaaad!)
  • you need to have flight tickets to Europe (but what if you don’t give me a VISA?)
  • you need to have enough money (as stipulated by the specific consulate) for the duration of your trip (Fack)

I actually happen to be quite a seasoned traveler, whatever that means; I have travelled a bit in my time.

I have been to Thailand where I have been exposed to women who can do incredible (yet disgusting) things with their vaginas. Seen James Bond Island and the place where they filmed ‘The Beach’, seen a baby elephant sitting on the steps outside Mc Donald’s begging for food and got an incredible tan. Discovered band t-shirt heaven and loved living in my bikini.

I have been to Bali four or five times (I have been so often I can’t remember) and swam in crystal waters, been adored by creepy men for my fair skin and, at the time, blonde hair. Been proposed to at every stop. Discovered a huge, underground Nirvana fan club, eaten incredible fresh caught fish on the beach, got stuck on the beach at high tide at Uluwatu and had to do some scary ass underwater cave swimming and become a local at Padang Padang and Ulu’s so much so that they remember me by name when I go back and ask how my mother is. Also – incredible tan.

I have been to Australia on a wild, unplanned adventure to rescue Hamilton. Been reunited with my bestest, George, discovered that everyone in Aus is either tanned, built or anorexic they also have a tendency to dress exactly the same as one another. I have been to beautiful beaches, seen a Koala that manages to sleep and stay firmly in a tree. Found out that they are like wayyy racist about the aboriginis (sad) and that generally they are friendly, accommodating people who have stupid rules like no swearing or drinking after 10pm. WTF.

I have been to Singapore and lived there for a while in an attempt to get to know my father. Ended up being rather disastrous as he was busy getting to know lots of other women too. That place is far too clean, too structured and too strict for my liking. If you’re impressed with tall, modern buildings and fake beaches and Asian bimbos then it’s your slice of heaven. I never saw anyone wear slips slops … once. Fail.
So as you can imagine I am tres excited to meet up with Lauren and Barry in April. My gran would be super stoked, what a legend for being a super saver.
To my dreams coming true : )


  1. So exciting. Hahaha I love your accounts of your travels so I'm expecting an insane one about your upcoming trip!

  2. Ah thanks Sher. Well I'm only going in April but you know it's going to be wild and I'll be back with loads of funny bits for you ;)


Thanks for your comment doll!