Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Never ...

1.    Never ever look at old travel photos with your BF. Especially from any time before you were with them.  Discovered a damning disc amongst a bunch of unmarked cd’s with the BF last weekend while nursing a solid hangover of wine (and what HIMYM calls a “sandwich”) and quickly hid it from him. Took a look at it later and let me tell you it was a damn good thing he didn’t get to see it. BAAAAAD photos of me all sweaty with scary short hair, me passed out in a resort with only my undies on, me caught in seriously unattractive moments of hilarity, me thinking I was Joan Jett. Just bad news. Also reinforced the ban on all short haircuts and rock n roll garb.
2. Never wear a jumpsuit on a 'bloated' day. You WILL look like you are 3 months pregnant. Sucking it in will not help.
3.  Never put an umbrella up on the beach on a slightly windy day. You will end up running after it as it almost impails girls that are substantially thinner than you, you will recieve dirty looks from them throughtout your time at the beach.
4.  Never neglect to invoice a client just because they are 'family'. You will be forced to settle for a lesser amount than agreed upon in order to "keep the peace". They will try to shnaai (sp) you.
5.  Never assume that you will not be going anywhere nice today so there is no point dressing up/putting on makeup/fixing your hair. You will most likely be dragged along to Parliament by your mother and introduced to Princes, Politicians and People who wear suits a lot. You will feel and most likely resemble a bergie.

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