Wednesday, December 28, 2011

New Years Resolutions

New Years is supposed to be fun. Hands up who's had a New Years that was an epic fail? *Put's both hands up*

My most memorable New Years went like this. Me and the BF (who wasn't my BF at the time) and a couple of friends from work decided to crash a party in Camps Bay we had heard about. Some laanie German dude was throwing a seriaas bash at his mansione, very shmaat, with canapes and champagne.

We rocked up with our posse in a beat up old golf known as the 'Ferret Mobile". Don't ask. We were pretty dronk already on Jack Daniels and coke. Hosh. I was there with a guy I was dating, who will from now on be known as 'The Ultimate Douche-bag Wanker".

For some reason I was desperate for this wanker. I had been screwed around by guys a lot at this time and he was my only hope at ever having sex. Let's just be honest, I was a virgin, at seventeen it's not like I was ashamed of it, I just really wanted to have sex, like everyone else and I thought he was the ticket. It's a good thing it never worked out.

'The Ultimate Douche-bag Wanker" thought he was the shit. He played me good and on the night, fully ignored me so I hung out with the now BF who was my best dude friend at the time. Most of the night was spent sneaking through the host's drawers, stripping down to my undies and swimming in his magnificent pool while knocking back any alcohol I could find. At one point I think I may have peed in the bush. Not my proudest moment. When I returned from my pee I went to lay under the stars on the deck chairs next to the now BF and the 'The Ultimate Douche-bag Wanker". The next thing you know this poppie rocks up and takes a seat on The Ultimate Douche-bag Wanker's lap and pulls into him. Turns out she's his ex and thye make out right in front of me like it's nobodies business for the rest of the night.

Obviously I am completely heartbroken and dumbfounded. The now BF hands me the bottle of Jack and makes me down it. Get's me in his 'Ferret Mobile' and takes me to Camps Bay beach, where I do more drunken stripping, swimming in the ocean and more crying. Poor now BF baby sits me. Clearly I am too wasted to go home so we decide to sleep in the store room on body-boards in the surf shop we work in.

That is kind of the beginning of our love story and we've been together ever since. This New Years our plan is to go to the Llandudno life-saving party with some friends. Beaches + Drinking = Skinny dipping and endless fun.

What are your plans for celebrating the New Year?


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