Men will never understand the lengths we go to look good. Well not even to look good, just to maintain normality. Most women never talk about the sometimes gross side to personal grooming. However no subject goes untouched by me.
I had a hilarious conversation the other day with my friend Brooke. She’s the kind of girl you can talk to about anything, her laugh is infectious and her stories are told with suspense. I love our chats.
Our conversation that evening veered towards the unfortunate job of shaving regularly. Ones armpits, as most women would know can be the bane of one’s existence. If you shave, and so you should because honestly there is nothing more yuk than waiting for them to be waxed, you will be privy to the fact that armpit hair grows at a startling rate that is rather un ladylike.
They start growing back like a five o clock shadow on a man’s face. One must shave at least every second day. Armpit stubble is unheard of by men and should be kept that way for sake of guarding the illusion that our toilette time consists of applying beauty creams and not plucking unwanted hairs and inspecting dimples and stretchmark’s.
Now this post was supposed to be about the amazing effects of the Vital Hair, Skin & Nails capsules that make you hair (on your head, I’m hoping) grow at a rate so furious my own mane has surpassed the enviable ‘over the boobs’ length. I was also going to tell you that I succumbed to the convincing Dove adverts and purchased the Dove Hair Fall Mask treatment which I have been using for three days and it is blooming brilliant. My hair is Rapunzel like, I feel like I’ve stepped out of a L’Oreal ad. I want to do the side glance, hair flick movement, it feels so soft.
But you know it would be so much more fun to talk about the state of one’s armpits!
How to combat excessive armpit hair growth;
1. Use a bloody good and sharp razor.
2. Find a bloody good shaving cream (do not be lazy and use soap like me, this makes your razor blades blunt.)
3. Shave vigorously.
4. Use a mirror to determine if you have missed a spot.
5. Admire new armpits as if you’re in a Veet advert.
There, you see, beauty is not joke.
Made you laugh!
Note: This is the first of many more hilarious beauty columns coming your way.