Monday, May 28, 2012

Things I have always wondered about fashion bloggers ...

I myself am no fashion blogger. I do blog about fashion but let's be honest you don't see me running around all dressed up, splaying my wears and thighs all down this page. No, I'm just not 'that' kind of girl.

Firstly I have no ego, well at least not one that over rules eating a crunchie at night while watching Survivor. I don't do things like; pick carrots over chocolate, spend hours everyday getting dressed or photographing my lovely things.

I'm more of a "Oh well, I'm not going anywhere, might as well stay in my pj's, eat moskonfyt and listen to Foo Fighters" kind of girl.

Fashion Bloggers are fierce! Those bitches WORK OUT. They consume calories that could only feed a small angora rabbit. If I miss lunch I can be a little bit Hulk-ish.

They also PLAN what they are going to wear, they may even wear two or more outfits in a day. My planning is entirely weather dependant; "Ian is it going to be hot tomorrow" Ian: "Yes".
Jodi: Throws on old rok with some dangly bits and havaiana's.

If it's cold I wear my amazing parka and (lord please forgive me), Uggs. If I have to go anywhere remotely fashionable I am forced to change. Some days it appears I have arisen from a cave with wild amazon woman hair and growling for a coffee and a smoke. Poor Ian.

But no, these ladies make an effort, they put make-up on, meticulously, they do their hair in all sorts of wonderful styles. They make regular visits to the salon, they DON'T when bored snip individual split ends with kitchen scissors like I do.

And then they prance around in the street pretending they aren't being photographed with their legs at funny angles looking like they should have bought a burger instead of another pair of Aldo's.

Question 1: Where do they find the time to be so self involved and perfect?

Question 2: Do they interview for photographer boyfriends?

Question 3: Where do they get the money to pay for all their amazeballs clothes?

Clearly they are unemployed, rich daddy's girls dating struggling photographers. This is the only conclusion I can think of.

Ironically I post daily 'Look of the Day' photos of these women to inspire you. They inspire me. And then I realise I have a deadline for 4pm and 16 articles to write before then and I forget about it. Occassionally when my social life comes out to play, I revert back to my look of the day's for outfit help.

In saying this if you ever see a photo of a model/daddy's-girl/blogger/clothes-hanger that you feel is inappropriate due to a too large gap between her thighs, then tell me. Also know this, life's too short to look like that anyways.

Hamilton and I often discuss with disgust what we have consumed in the day and then laugh about it. Jodi to Hamilton: "Would you like a piece of cake?" Hamilton: "No I already ate a bag of chips and a choccie". Jodi: " ...." Hamilton: "Okay then, just a little bit"

And then we giggle.

Note: Not all Fashion Bloggers are so unoriginal.

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